Somebody That I Used to Know

One of my best friends requested that I write about guys that don’t text you back and disappear out of nowhere. Most girls know this as “ghosting”. The song, Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye comes to mind. You can listen to this song while you read the post. The link is down below. These are the main lyrics I want to relate to this post:

Somebody That I Used to Know: Gotye

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I’d done
But I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say

These lyrics basically say it all. Ghosting is something horrible that most college women will go through. I’ve been through it before. What stands out to me is the feeling of neglect. The waiting is the worst part of it. Not knowing what to expect or even when you’ll talk to that person again. I remember trying to distract myself from this problem by watching Stephen King’s The Shining. It worked for a little while, but I was super attached to my phone. That’s no way for anyone to live. I got so fed up with everything that I had my Mom take my phone away from me. Friends of mine have dealt with this too. You probably know this story. Girl meets guy. They have a great time together, then the guy vanishes into thin air. This really, really sucks. I’ve come to realize it means that he’s not into you if this is the case. If a guy cares about you, he’ll make the effort to text or call you.  I hate to hear when this happens to any of my girlfriends. I wish we could live in a world where more guys text you back in a consistent, timely manner.

Here are my tips on dealing with a guy who ghosts on you:

  1. Remember that you are more than good enough. It’s not you. It’s him. I guarantee it’s not anything you said or did. Know that you are a fantastic and fabulous human being. It’s okay to feel crappy, but don’t let a guy control your life. You always have the choice to be in the driver’s seat.
  2. Find a fun distraction. Go see a movie, watch some Netflix or use a coloring book. Any hobby you have in mind will help you feel better. It’s a good way to enjoy yourself and get your mind off of that one guy.
  3. Spend time with a friend or family member. You might feel like wallowing alone right now, but take the time to connect with someone. It’s important to have a good support system when going through something like this.
  4. Take the time to write down your thoughts and feelings. Write an angry letter to them that you’ll never send. This is a healthy way to express yourself and you’ll be able to come to terms with what happened.
  5. Think about the possibilities for your future love life. We all hit bumps in the road and face obstacles. Ultimately, this experience will lead you to the person that God intended for you to be with. Have faith in the process and know that everything happens for a reason.


*Image from Pinterest

Thanks for reading! I hope this helps! Good luck with everything. 🙂


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