This is something that I’ve been wanting to write about for awhile. What’s your first reaction after seeing that someone on Facebook or Instagram just got engaged? I’m guessing it’s a mixture of disappointment and annoyance, then happiness comes later on. You might think to yourself, “I wonder if I’ll ever meet someone…will I ever find the right one? Does he/she even exist?”. Also, the engagement posts that I’ve seen are always so put-together and so perfect-looking. What about after the wedding? Couples aren’t immune to problems just because they’re married. It’s the same way with being single. Whether flying solo or in a relationship, there are obstacles in our lives. I believe that we all can find that one person, but it takes a lot of time for some of us. Some people are lucky that they meet their husband/wife at a younger age, like 19 or 20. Props to them! Where do they find these people? Let me know if you know. I think wedding engagements can stir up negative feelings inside of us. There’s definitely jealousy, like, “Why can’t my relationships actually work out? Why do I have to keep dealing with getting dumped? I want that too”. It’s also along the lines of, “Wow! That’s so sweet! Good for them!”. As a teen, I always thought we only had one soulmate and that was who you would end up with. I’m glad that’s not the case now – otherwise I’d have lost my chance at love. I believe that we can love more than one person during our life. I don’t think we should limit ourselves to just finding “The One”, but how about “The Right Guy/Girl for Me”. It’s okay to feel bad for a little while, but ultimately, we have to pick ourselves up and move on.
One thing I like to do is this: turn a negative thought into a positive one. I think to myself, “Wow, she looks beautiful in her wedding dress, and someday, I will too.” Or, “He’s so handsome – I know I’ll find my person, just a bit later in the future”. After dating a few people, I’ve realized that even if you think you’ll never date anyone else, think again. We go through lots of breakups in our 20s, at least for the majority of the population. This includes myself and a lot of my friends. Right now, I’m definitely not ready to settle down. Taking time for yourself is a great thing to do. Channel your inner Samantha Jones and be fabulous while sipping cosmopolitans and hitting on attractive men or women. Confidence in yourself is key to finding the right relationship. God is waiting until he has the right person to bring into your life. Trust the process and have faith that things will work out. He’s got a plan for you, I promise. You’re not alone in this journey. I’m right there with you! I look forward to the day I meet my future husband. It’s fun to imagine what he’ll be like, where he’s from and the place of our first date.
Love is a perplexing and exciting roller coaster adventure. I don’t know what to make of it sometimes. There are highs and lows and upside down loops. It’s challenging and frustrating at times. Yet, It’s pretty entertaining along the way. All those bad dates make for some great stories. I try not to keep up a wall, but it’s something that I struggle with. Nobody likes getting hurt. I think of the quote from The Fault in Our Stars, “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you”. It makes perfect sense. Heartbreak helps shapes us into the people we’re meant to be. We can understand ourselves better and what we desire in a relationship. We pick up the puzzle pieces of our past struggles and place them into an optimistic future. I believe that love is a part of our daily lives, in friendship and family. My girlfriends are my soulmates but guys are nice to have around, too.
*Images from Pinterest, not my own