It’s Okay to Not be Okay

Hi there! Today, I wanted to talk to you guys about some things I’ve been going through. There’s been a lot on my mind lately. I’m in the middle of a place where I feel stuck and unsure of where I want to go and what I want to do. It’s a bit of a quarter-life crisis. When I first graduated high school, I was so sure that I would end up in California and work in the beauty industry. I planned to have a fabulous life of sunglasses, designer bags and good-looking guys to go out with. So, California wasn’t for me. I didn’t really fit in there. Then, I ended up in Chicago to attend school. The first semester at Columbia was great, but second semester was the complete opposite. I dealt with a really sad breakup where I was dumped. I really felt off. I didn’t feel like myself at all. I wasn’t happy. I was just doing the bare minimum to make it through the day. Now, I’m starting to feel better, but I’m still struggling. I have some people to hang out with, but no solid group of friends to call my own. I’ve been trying to find fun activities to do in Chicago. From doing that, I discovered this place called Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits in Logan Square. Wicker Park too. There are some cool things that the city has to offer. Anyways, I’ve been finding it hard to connect with my peers lately. I question whether I fit in at my school. I’m not super artsy and don’t have green hair. I probably look like a student you’d see at a traditional university.

I’m not sure if I’m having a bad semester or if I need a new plan. I wish someone could show me a crystal ball detailing my future. It would be nice to know who my future boyfriend is. Future career. Future life path. I feel so confused about what I want to do. Everyone at my school seems so clear about what they’d like to do. Some people are cinematographers, journalists, poets, you name it. They know what they like and what their skills are. I know Marketing is the right choice for me, but am I where I need to be? It’s like I’m looking at life through a super-smudged window where it’s foggy outside. I can’t see it clearly and communicate exactly what I want.

I know that I need to stop worrying so much. It’s so hard to get out of my own head. I wish I could have a moment of peace and quiet from my thoughts. After my breakup, I felt cut off from my social life and from the person who meant a lot to me. Word of caution: don’t rely on your significant other to supply you with a friend group. Find one yourself and make an effort to constantly meet new people. I was initially going to post about something beauty-related, but then, these thoughts kept coming up. I figured that writing about what I’m going through and offering advice could help someone else. It’s likely that someone reading this might be able to relate to what I’m saying. That being said, here’s some advice if you’re feeling stuck:

  1. Don’t let a breakup consume you. Getting dumped is really tough, but you can get through it. It’s okay to unfollow/unfriend them as you see fit. Being friends after a breakup isn’t something that happens often. I thought it would for me, but it didn’t lead anywhere, and that’s fine. It’s not good to have a constant reminder around about the person that dumped you. You should make an effort to spend time with friends and family. Go out when you don’t feel like it. Push yourself to do new things out of your comfort zone. You’re going to be okay. If I can do it, you can too. I believe in you.
  2. Seek counseling/therapy. This is really helpful. I’ve done this before. It helps to have an objective person that can sort through your problems. Their job is to listen to you. That’s it. They can recommend resources too. Be honest and open with yourself. Your feelings are valid. To quote Lena Dunham’s character Hannah on Girls, “I feel how I feel when I feel it”.
  3. Connect to your faith/pray. For me, God is an important part of my life. I pray to him for guidance in my life. I know that He has a plan for me. He has one for you too. You could also do something more spiritual, if you aren’t religious. This could include meditation, chakra practices or yoga. Maybe it means listening to songs about faith or attending religious services. I usually like to take some quiet time in my day and write in my journal about faith-related topics. It’s such a personal thing and it’s different for each person. Do what feels best for you.
  4. Find an anthem or mantra. Is there a song that makes you feel happy and motivated? Listen to it on repeat. Let it soak into your skin. For me, this song is Titanium by Sia and David Guetta. It talks about how you keep getting knocked down, but you’re like titanium and you’ll keep pushing through the obstacles of life. I’d be happy to write a post about uplifting songs if you guys would like. A mantra is something positive you could write on a post-it note. One I like is this:

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*Image from Pinterest, not my own

Courage and kindness are two traits that are important if you want to be successful in life. You could even make a collage based on the quote you like and put it up on your wall. Get creative with it!

5. Know that you will feel okay again. I promise. I’m starting to get to that point now. You just have to keep trying everyday. Get out of bed. Leave your room and explore wherever you are. Get out in nature and take a walk. The Vitamin D is super healthy for you. It takes time to get through a tough situation. We can’t figure out things overnight. We don’t always know what life has in store for us, but I’d like to believe that good things will come into my life at the time when I need it most.

I hope these tips can help you. Have a good rest of your day. 🙂

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*Image from Pinterest, not my own

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